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| 10 STEPS TO A SUCCESSFUL TIME-OUT ! |
| You Can Do It ! Be Patient and Take your Time. Try these steps for 2 Weeks. |
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit." Galatians 5:22, 25 "By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures." Proverbs 24:3-4 "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6 |
| Time-Out Animals and Time-Out Spots (rugs) |
STEP 1 - You need to have a calm reaction to the bad behavior - It's a bad behavior, not a bad child - No yelling, hollering, screaming by you the parent - Say calmly and slowly "Uh oh, Sam is going for a Time-Out"
- Place needs to be very boring, no view of television - Have child sit on stairs, stool, chair, or bench, little rug STEP 3 - If child is upset, angry, and yelling - Have child take 3 deep breaths in and out - Show child how to do this by you doing it with them - Make eye contact with child - Empathize with child "I know", "I know" STEP 4 - State why child was put into time-out - "Sam, no hitting, we do not hit" - Do not touch child while talking about bad behavior - No touching is a subconscious withdrawal of any positive reinforcement STEP 5 - Set Timer - 1 Minute for each year of age - Put where child can see and hear - Tell child why they are in time-out so they can think about it - "Mommy is going to set timer for 3 minutes for you to think about why you shouldn't hit Sally when you want a toy; it hurts Sally's feelings and Mommy's feelings when you do that" - * If child gets out of time-out spot, calmly keep putting child back into time-out spot and time starts once they stay in the spot - When my kids were about 2 years old, I sat with them on my lap for about the first 3-6 time-outs until they got the idea STEP 6 - After time has been served and timer goes off - Re-state unacceptable behavior - "Sam, you were put into time-out because we do not hit to get toys" STEP 7 - Discuss Positive Replacement Behaviors
Older ones, 4 years old and older - Ask child for two alternative behaviors instead of the bad one STEP 8 - You reinforce 2 alternative good behaviors verbally "Sam, next time you want a toy from Sally you need to ask for the toy nicely or get mommy if Sally won't share" STEP 9 - Child Must Apologize - Child needs to apologize to both you and other child (if another child or person is involved) - Child should then say "I am sorry for hitting Sally and next time I will ask Sally nicely for the toy or get you Mommy" - Under 4 years old, you will need to say the above sentence and ask them to repeat it after you STEP 10 - Reinforce that you still love your child - Anytime a parent is upset or angry a child cannot discern if the parent still loves them... a child thinks that Mommy or Daddy doesn't love them if they see anger or displeasure from a parent - Remember it is a bad behavior, not a bad child - Say "All Done !" in a bright cheerful voice, make eye contact, and SMILE (it's over & done with) - Hug child and while hugging say, "I Love You Sam, You are Special to Me, You are a Good Boy, and I know you will do the right thing and be nicer next time !" |
| www.timeoutmom.com |
| TIME-OUT TOOLS |
